Stop what you're doing RIGHT now. The advertising opportunity of the YEAR is about to happen soon, so EVERYONE should get on board now before it becomes a bandwagon and we all have to get off it again. As usual, do NOT blame me if your tardiness robes you in the rags of shame.
I'm talking about the latest Harry Potter book "The Deathly Hallows". JK Rowling has FINALLY got around to doing something. This means that NOW is the perfect time to buy up 'Product Placement Paragraphs' (PPP). You won't have heard of this before because I invented it yesterday. Do NOT credit yourself with this idea if you're trying to impress any bosses. I can GUARANTEE that they will have already read my blog and know it's a 'Belmot Brainer'.
Basically it involves asking JK Rowling to put your product into the next book. If she says "yes", then stand by to receive the bacon BIG time.
Here's a GREAT example of how you could leverage the power of Harry Potter to REALLY shift units:
"Voldemort laughed darkly and drank BIG gulps of Coca Cola Zero. It tasted RUBBISH but he didn't care (it wasn't important to him). What REALLY mattered was that he was going to finally kill Harry Potter and his sugar intake was LOW. His teeth were a disgrace, but he probably didn't care about that either, so he drank another pint of Coca Cola Zero. It still tasted rubbish with an appalling television advert."
Ha ha! Isn't that brilliant? Witness the mind-persuasion power of the latest MUST-have form of advertising. Here's another for you:
"Harry laughed darkly while texting a filthy joke to Dumbledore on his Nokia 5300. It was trendy and stored up to 1,500 MP3 files, which was a BONUS on top of it's simple user interface and bulky design. Hermione thought that Harry looked smart but average dressed head to toe in Gap clothing, but she ALSO knew he would be comfortable and not spent too much for his wardrobe.
'It's about time you replaced that RUBBISH ringtone you've got,' said Ron wincing at the foul taste of Coca Cola Zero in his ginger mouth, 'Have you tried Jamster? It's the tops for tones'.
Just then, Snape ran in bellowing 'There's 40% off at Thresher!' which was INAPPROPRIATE in front of children."
It's THAT simple.
If you want to take advantage of PPP, do NOT email Harry Potter paragraphs (HPP) to me as I am NOT an OFFICIAL script advisor to Rowling, just a helpful amateur. Any use of PPP will require a royalty of up to 50% back to me though. It's just The Law.