Thursday, September 06, 2007

Top brass haven't rumbled the spy!

If you're a regular drinker (reader) at the fountain (blog) of my knowledge (advice), you'll have DEFINITELY been going thirsty (not reading/learning anything new) lately.

There's no mystery, so don't try cracking the case. You won't. Also don't bother ask what I've been doing, just keep reading (drinking).

I REALLY need money, and that's no lie. NO-ONE ever pays the invoices I send out, so the only solution was to swallow the bullets and get a job.

None of the best advertising agencies (ones in the South East) bothered to reply to my CV, even though it CLEARLY told them I would be a great Managing Guru or Advice Director. It's rude and shameful because I know for FACTS that they reap my blog-advice like thieving harvesters. Their loss is also my loss - they don't get my massive kudos and I don't get their money. No one wins.

Taking an unsubtle hint from my husband's war stories/lies, I decided to spy on the industry... from the INSIDE! Can you imagine me in a balaclava and sunglasses like a REAL spy?

Anyway, forget that image in your mind because everyone who works on the checkouts has to wear the same uniform. Also, the application/interview process was non-invasive and they didn't probe how much I knew about advertising. Ha ha! Imagine what 'top brass' would say if they knew I was a blog-genius with even MORE top brassy skills than THEIR top brass.

At the moment, I'm biding my time on the checkout before presenting my plan to re-position the WHOLE supermarket chain for a Digital generation. I'll DEFINITELY present to top brass. My low-brow colleagues on the shop floor simply won't be able to grapple with the concepts involved. You need the ability to think metaphorically but most of them can't even think plain-phorically.

I really have to get off the checkout soon. The money is rubbish and it's literally an unwanted eye-opener to see what people buy to eat.