Thursday, March 29, 2007

Something went wrong in Dorking

No measurable reduction in violence in Dorking and no discernible increase of footfall in the town's nightclubs since my recent mystery outdoor campaign to really PACK people into the clubs. The 'moths' have resisted my 'Rubiks Cube', which is VERY unexplainable.

I stickered an ENTIRE car park with home-printed (written in biro) post-it notes, so the audience ratings would have been SKY HIGH. I don't know what went wrong, but you can't blame me for trying so don't bother (you would be AMAZED how many people regularly do blame me for trying).

Herman once blamed me for frying, but in fairness the smoke in the kitchen was hazardous and set off the smoke alarm, so that's a "fair cop". The walls still need a wipe down. The soot and grime is shameful but it makes every meal feel 'Dickensian', which is a GREAT bonus.

The internet is now VERY fast and here's the proof:

Yesterday I created an entirely new chocolate product and I've had ONE big company already warning me off producing it with STRONG legal cautions. Again, this shows my mind is WAY ahead of the curve in most sectors.

MY Legal advisor (Carol - she hoovers for us but she's got an unnaturally mistrustful mind, which makes her good at The Law) said I should go ahead and make the Co-Co Thump but she had a selfish, hungry look in her eyes = not to be trusted.

I've decided I'll make it tonight under cover of darkness (turn lights off in the kitchen). It means suspending work on my hat/router project, but the reward for appetite and tastebuds will be LARGE.

Did I EVER receive an answer from JK Rowling? Answer = no. Conclusion = a GREAT writer but tardy/rude in her responses to plot suggestions. Also the films make NO sense plot-logically and the actors seem to change every five minutes.

If Harry Potter was ginger, would you 'buy' it? Who knows? Or would you rather eat a Co-Co Thump? Vote NOW!

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