Something VERY occult has happened in the last few days. I've noticed that Herman's recent painting of himself has been decaying at a rate of knots, but his face has barely changed at all!
This is perturbing because he's DEFINITELY been ill and should be looking at least 60% worse. As it is, he looks about 38% BETTER than he usually does. I will NOT be pleased if he's made ANY kind of occult pact. The last pact he made involved us sitting in a timeshare apartment presentation for HOURS and only got a set of bad cutlery in return. Criminal.
It's ALSO perturbing because he mounted the painting on the wall in the dining room, so it's shedding paint all over the sideboard.
The stench of brimstone in that room is unbearable.
The whole affair reeks of being sinister and I DON'T like it. The implications are disgusting, to say the least and I don't need the chattering classes raking up muck about yours truly (me). The Dorking Advertiser is ALWAYS on the look-out for 'dirt' on me and they'd have a field day if they got hold of this.
MORE bad Belmot news is that the fence panel Herman 'requisitioned' for his painting hasn't been replaced, so I can see STRAIGHT through into next door's garden and THEN into their house. I've been staring through the gap for hours and it's boring. Come on! Do something! If next door realise that this is a "two-way street" and can look back through, the bad news will be sky high. Literally.
I need a 'jee and tea' and make it quick! Ha ha! Isn't that what Trotter always drinks in the pub?
Ha ha! My brain is now FULL of endorphins and I feel GREAT! Good old Trotter!