Monday, March 05, 2007

The slop is effective, the advert is NOT

I've DEFINITELY just discovered a flaw in the television at the moment while trying to sort out my husband's chesty cough and blocked sinuses. Look at the doctor on Eastenders:

Now here she is AGAIN as a mother buying Vicks:

The whole thing is VERY confusing because:
1) She's having 'baby problems' on Eastenders but has a baby in this advert = confusing!
2) She's buying Vicks in a supermarket but, as a doctor, would probably just send a nurse out to buy it for her in real life = wrong!
3) It was on ITV and Eastenders is on BBC = confused brand message!

Anyway, I can GUARANTEE that this will NOT sell Vicks OR help anyone understand Eastenders (impenetrable at the best of times, downright sordid at the worst). The only good thing about the whole disaster is that the advert is EXCELLENT. I give it four stars**** for goodness, but minus three stars-*-*-* for clarity. Rotten to the core.

After this mayhem was eventually cleared up, the good shops were shut and Herman was making noises like an air-locked radiator full of mud. Inhuman.

Fortunately, I managed to create my own Vicks out of chewing gum, horseradish, toothpaste (Macleans, but Colgate would have been 100% better), glue and turps. Easy if you have the ingredients to hand. Impossible if you don't (unless the shops are open: then you're back to square one).

So far, the feedback is that it's minty AND effective. Herman says he hasn't felt this sinus-clean since he was "gassed good and proper" in the army. He's prone to exaggeration though - he keeps making lewd comments about not minding the doctor from Eastenders cutting his leg off, which is a downright LIE. He cried like an infant when he dropped a paving slab on his foot last year while re-doing the patio.

Anyway, he didn't sleep a wink ALL night due to the burning sensation inside his head and eyes from my homebrew Vicks. That's a CLOUD, but the lack of gurgling and grunts through the night is a silver lining.

I'm not sure whether to email the BBC or Vicks about this new medicine. I may just take it to the local chemist on a 'sale or return' basis. I need the mop bucket to clean the floor but it's brimming over with the fuming slop.


Miss Tickle said...

Mrs Belmot this is old news. Myself and my husband saw this Eastenders/Vicks link ages ago.

She was clearly a struggling actress doing adverts and then she got her lucky break in Eastenders.

I have a question that you will DEFINITELY like. If you were an actress and you had trained for years, would you take a part in Eastenders?

Personally I would wait for my break in Hollywood.

Mrs Belmot said...

I DEFINITELY would not take a part in Eastenders unless someone paid me - that's a given.

Are we actually in contractual talks now (as I suspect)?

The real issue here is your obvious mistake: there is NO link between Eastenders or Vicks, but there SHOULD be.

Other 'no-thinker' brand marriages would include:
Coronation Street + Samaritans
Emmerdale + Samaritans
Neighbours + Australian Samaritans
Holloy Oaks + Childline

Where do I sign? Ha ha ha!!

FishNChimps said...

No no no. Eastenders and Vicksland are a made-up, close-to-reality alternative world, ergo the same world, and this woman is occupying to spaces in the same dimension. That is clearly not right. Mind you, Mark Fowler changed faces twice, and various Corrie brats have experienced considerable overnight transformations.

Mrs Belmot said...

I skleamed that you agree. The whole thing is rotten to the core.

Ha ha! I JUST made up the word "skleaned"! It's a GREAT mixture of skimming dull-looking text and gleaning the key insights from it.

I do this all the time but I've literally just made up the word for it. EVERYONE use it now and credit me when you do!