Thursday, March 01, 2007

Thieves won't take my blog

No word from the National Gallery, which is GOOD news as far as my reputation is concerned.

Apparently the government have banned junk food advertising, which is rich when you look at John Prescott! He's as fat as a FOOL and these pictures may as well be captioned:

"Give me burgers! I'll eat the blooming lot! I'll DEFINITELY have more than I need for my daily energy intake! Yum yum! Oooh yes, yum yum!"

Anyway, if you're thinking AHEAD of the curve or merely reading ahead of the curve (hint: you're doing this right now) then you'll have realised that it's a storm in a cup.

The CLEVER answer is not to advertise anything as junk food. Simply call it 'lunch', 'dinner' or 'grub' if you're advertising to the 'common' end of the market. Why can't anyone else see this? Come on! It shouldn't be up to me EVERY time (although it always IS).

Maybe MacDonalds should only hand over a Big Mac once you've dropped and given them twenty (press-ups or sit-ups, not squat-thrusts: too easy). I'd brand this exercise-rewarded catering as 'hunk food'. H is next to J on the keyboard so that's EASY for a start. Case closed!

Resurrecting a VERY popular favourite, I had toast for breakfast and chops for lunch. It's too early for dinner but I'm STILL in the mood for chops. Can you get turkey chops? I like the idea and I can REALLY picture what they look like in my mind.

Only reply to this if you're a qualified butcher and can 'talk turkey'. I don't want hack amateurs airing their dirty opinions in my public.

Ha ha! This ENTIRE post has been about food! Look out Gordon Ramsey!

The garage door was left open all night which is bad for security but good for 'obvious reasons'. I doubt burglars read the internet so I'm not worried about broadcasting this to the thieving classes. If my blog goes missing tomorrow, you'll know it's been stolen off the internet! Ha ha!

I'm genuinely still in the mood for chops and now I want a drink too.

13 comments:

Dan said...

I would be very craeful Mrs Belmot, as increasingly the thieving classes do have access to the interwebs via prison libraries and the like.

Mrs Belmot said...

They'd be doing me a favour if they stole something - at the moment I have to climb over Herman's "bench press" to get to the chest freezer.

He bought it during the 80s when we were all 'at it'.

It only has three legs now which makes it a death trap, in my opinion. Come on, thieves!

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