As regular readers will know for definite, I ONLY talk about great innovations I've developed in advertising. It's what I'm GREAT at and what people need from me.
Unfortunately, today's bulletin is about a TERRIBLE new development in music. Since bonding an Essential Garage music compilation into our stero, my husband has been influenced EASILY and is now 'urban'.
This means that he's CONSTANTLY wearing his hat backwards and refuses to remove it, even for 'hygiene' purposes. The situation is aggravated by him only owning an old bowler hat from the 70s, so the back is identical to the front to the untrained eye. Therefore = NOT urban at all.
He also claims to have invented an off-shoot of garage music, which he has so far branded 'shed' music. It basically involves him standing in his shed tapping a rhythm on a rusty colander with a garden trowel and 'rapping' over the din. The level of articulation is woefully and his rhymes are lack-lustre, in my opinion.
He's planning to transmit a performance tonight using his amateur radio equipment, so MY advice is to steer WELL clear of the airwaves between 7pm and 7.15pm. He runs out of steam quickly, but his enthusiasm makes him reckless on the microphone.
This morning he rhymed "I like my booties fat" with "I can see a tub of paraquat".