Tuesday, May 15, 2007

I will talk about offal ANOTHER day

Today there are TWO issues at stake, or steak! Ha ha! This will become funny AFTER you've read my blog, so come back to the top once you've finished to enjoy a good belly laugh.

Actually there's only ONE real issue at stake (steak) and that's me needing to get fit QUICK (don't ask why). I had a BLISTERING disagreement with my husband about it which mainly went:
  • I think jogging on my own would be DULL and want to buy a new dog to run with.
  • Herman can't see past the issue of cleaning up dog p** to realise that dog jogging would be GREAT fun.
  • He's an idiot who only thinks of himself.

Anyway, it all came to a head at Derek's dinner party on Saturday when Herman asked Derek if he would let Carol go dogging. Derek has big eyes at the best of times but they bulged as big as PLATES when he said this. The man should have a doctor on standby round-the-clock.

Anyway, Carol said she didn't have the right shoes for it, so NO-ONE got a proper answer. Also, this wasn't a surprise as Carol NEVER has the right clothing for anything. I'm CONVINCED she was wearing salopettes under her blouse over the last Bank Holiday. This would instantly account for the sweating we ALL had to put up with.

The final upshot is that I'm STILL not achieving maximum fitness and there's no dog on the horizon either (except for Sheppo's grave at the end of the garden).

Conclusion = DON'T go back to the top to get the belly laugh I promised at the beginning as I haven't talked about offal yet. I'll do that tomorrow.

If you can't wait, it's a play on words with steak being similar to offal. I want to find a picture of my OLD dog (Sheppo) before writing about this though. When he was alive he would make MINCEMEAT out of you, which will tie in 100% with the offal post.

Also, all this talk of offal will make sense when I DO blog about it, so be receptive to offal-related advertising within 48 hours of reading this.

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