Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Start farmers advertising NOW

Look at this picture. It's the MOST obvious way for British farmers to increase revenue streams (much needed) AND make the countryside a more interesting place to visit (much more needed - the place is literally as dull as a ditch most of the time).

There's a LOT of whinging from farming circles about having to get up early to milk cows, the price of new wellies and the EU forcing down their profit margins. Solution = sell space on the side of your cattle to outdoor advertisers.

If you're a farmer and you've got broadband on your farm, you could probably sell this as DIGITAL outdoor advertising (one of the best types). No-one in an advertising agency will know the difference so you will be QUIDS in.

Imagine a whole FIELD full of sheep running around, subliminally telling you to drink Bovril. Shares of beefy drinks would go through the roof. Paint the same message on cows and you've built a COMPELLING argument.

Other winning product/livestock combinations would be:
  • Pigs - Only Fools & Horses DVDs (it's the trotter connection, if you're thick)
  • Hamsters - chorizo
  • Skunks - traffic safety adverts (they look a bit like roads)
  • Tigers - colonial-style rug adverts
  • Spiders - any national newspaper, but sold in a pre-rolled ready-for-spider-killing format
  • Bears - full-size cinema posters. Mostly because they're big enough to carry them

If I was a farmer and I reared any of the above animals, I would get painting slogans NOW! You can always invoice AFTER you've seen the ROI. It's what I do all the time.


Sam said...

Remember Mrs. B, keep ALL livestock in the airing cupboard.

Anonymous said...

so what's the dog's name? If it is yours janet.

Mrs Belmot said...

That picture of a dog is literally a sheep, in many ways.

I'm not going to be drawn AGAIN into naming livestock for people. It took forever last time and there's LITTLE benefit to anyone.

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