Alan Sugar's guilty secret

Look at this picture of Pootle Flump (on the left) and SIR Alan Sugar. They're practically separated at birth but had the same mother. If you mostly close your eyes, you will NOT be able to tell them apart. The fact he has NEVER publicly admitted to this PROVES that it must be his guilty secret.

Stick a pair of arms on the side of Sugar's head and he could walk STRAIGHT into the Flump household and sit down for dinner (bold as brass) without anyone batting a flumpy eyelid.

It would NOT suprise me if he did this - the man has the manners of a goat. If he hired me, I'd fire myself after arranging a SUBSTANTIAL redundancy package. Also, he would DEFINITELY turn Grandfather Flump's vegetable patch into a budget computer factory. That's a DEAD cert. Get off the veg, Sugar!

If one of the Flumps called him Alan (or even Ally) rather than SIR Alan, I have a hunch he would kick them around the garden like a pom-pom. Disgraceful. It's REALLY put me off watching The Apprentice - the man's a lout.

I wonder who's going to win THIS series? I'm hooked!

Herman FINALLY came out of the shed yesterday evening with a LOVELY tan and looking refreshed, so I've ALSO got a hunch that he's moved a sunbed in there.