Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Rubbish king of Scotland

I went to see the Braveheart sequel 'King of Scotland' last night. Belmot verdict = rubbish.
Mel Gibson looks 'pasty' and not 'buff' and the whole thing is played for laughs, right up until the end where they kill him again.

All in all it's VERY baffling and only provided a total of 17 BIG belly laughs. No-one even used the Braveheart catchphrase "There can be only one" either, so the marketing possibilities are a write-off. I didn't want to say "me too" more than a handful of times.

The only thing in its favour was that the depiction of Scotland seemed reasonably accurate - not ONE wireless router in sight and no-one checked their email during the ENTIRE film.

Herman complained about the lack of "kilt action", but I'm assuming he's confused - he thought we were watching Wallace & Grommit for the first 20 minutes. It's not clear when the misunderstanding crept in. Possibly in the car on the way there.

In conclusion: 2 stars ** for effort, but essentially a pedestrian script let down by a reliance on CGI.

That said, I had a GREAT time and will DEFINITELY buy this on DVD (or whatever format is best at Christmas time - probably an internet one).

Here's a great idea for a TV show like the X Factor but better: Kurt Russell, Louis Walsh and a token woman (possibly Agatha Christie) are the judging panel on 'The Wow Factor'. Members of the public can do ANYTHING at all, and if they make two out of three judges say "Wow", they are through to the next round.

Examples would be:

  • A blind train driver ("wow - how does he do work?")
  • A Harry Potter lookalike ("wow - enough said")
  • A man who owns TEN windmills standing before you (I'm literally saying "wow" at the very concept)
There would be 50 rounds in total and the final is in front of a live audience and the same rules apply except the AUDIENCE has to say "Wow".

The sooner ITV jumps onto forward-thinking programs like this, the sooner watchers will come flocking back = good news for advertising. The current programming schedule is an embarrassment. No wonder Robbie Coltrane refuses to work for them.

Don't let Cowell on board though - he'll take the money for himself and NOT plough it back into quality detective drama like 'Trotter'. I can GUARANTEE this.

Herman is still keen to get the 'Cowell' look. If you have any pointers, let him know (using amateur radio, ideally).


Adam said...

Can you call it the LOL Show?

The kids might watch it then.

Daniel Strange said...

Oh, Mrs Belmot, you dizzy old bird. The King of Scotland is not a sequel to Braveheart, but a sequel to Good Morning Vietnam. Forest Whittaker's character, after taking over the ham Robin Williams' radio show, rises swiftly through the ranks of the military. Whilst never actively engaging in combat, Whittaker (like George Bush Jr) nevertheless achieves a high rank through smooth talking and ribald radio speak. Soon he is so powerful, the US army decides they can find no high enough rank to cater for his might and so make him King of Scotland. Tony Blair rolls over to this request immediately of course - rolly dog!
The film picks up with Whittaker's radio personna on a new high - he is the Highland Howard Stern - as he is introduced to his show's new producer, a skinny Karl Pilkington, who suggests he actually eat a celebrity guest live on air.
Although I haven't seen it yet, I understand the show plays out rather like a rather long episode of Frasier. But with Whittaker at the helm.
So, please, please, Mrs Belmot - get your facts straight before filling this precious glittering vase we call the internet with muddy waters...

Ray said...

The Wow factor is about to come to your screen. In America it's called "America's Got Talent". Instead of two out of the three judges saying 'Wow', two out of three judges must give a tick rather than a cross. Not as sophisticated as your idea but then their judges are Piers Morgan, someone like Jade Goody but not, and David Hasselhoff.
Sadly it is a Simon Cowell production and it's going to be called Britain's Got Talent, with Piers Morgan. The other two judging slots are up for grabs, so get in with your suggestions quick.

Mrs Belmot said...

I don't understand much of this, to tell the truth.

However, Daniel's theory that it could be a sequel to 'Gregory's Girl' holds BIG water. He was 'pasty' too AND scottish.

Maths = done.