My initial reaction (and no doubt yours too) was that he'd sold a "warts and all" story about me to the Dorking Advertiser (the potential bane of my life - although not yet). However, he eventually admitted that 'on air' over the weekend, he invited one of his amateur radio ham friends to come and stay.
Because radio hams do NOT think logically, neither one of them had the intelligence to agree on a date. So now Herman has spent all morning peeking out of the kitchen window to see if anyone is going to arrive. Again - not logical. Our kitchen window faces the garden and I doubt VERY much if anyone is going to arrive through the hedge.
We also don't know his name as hams only broadcast their 'handle', not their real name. If anyone reading this knows or IS "The Morse Toad", please identify yourself using a normal forename/surname combination.
The whole thing is VERY irritating as over the weekend I made the decision to get more actively involved with the advertising industry. I'm going to select a brand which I think is most rubbish and then pitch some ideas to them. If I win, the ROI is that I'll get money for this.
Off the top of my head, brands which I think are rubbish are:
- Coke Zero (no explanation needed)
- Tesco (their delivery service is a disgrace)
- The grocer on Pemberton Road (the freshness is non-existent)
- Citroen (giant ice-skating automations do NOT sell cars)
- Um Bongo (I don't even know if this still exists, which is TERRIBLE brand awareness)
There are LOTS more rubbish brands and I need to devote a LOT of Belmot brain space to thinking about the various problems faced by ALL of these rubbish brands, but at the moment all I can think of is a freeloading radio ham. He'll probably need a towel.
I'll also have to devote some time thinking about how to impress client bigwigs (that's the name of the rabbit in Watership Down - ha ha!)