Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The diarrhoea gap is NOT long enough

Belmot's Blog: Supplemental: the Morse Toad is NOT Alan (surname unknown).

Apparently the 'Toad' got in touch with Herman last night on the radio saying he didn't like leaving Barnstaple so would DECLINE his invitation.

This DEFINITELY means that we've been hosting a complete stranger in our house for the last six days. Unfortunately, Alan (surname unknown) has been ill since he arrived here and has barely left the spare room except to go to the t*ilet (which he does ALL the time) so I'll have to wait until his diarrhoea abates long enough to ask him to leave. There's barely been a gap so far.

On the plus side, I've managed to shift a GREAT quantity of the sausage, mash & fig jam the BBC website FORCED me to make. Alan's been eating it like it's going out of fashion. (Don't check this - it's never been 'in vogue').

I've opened all the windows in the house which has had the double benefit of airing the stink AND making it uncomfortably cold for any unwanted guests. You can see your breath in most rooms (not the t*ilet though - it's UNNATURALLY clammy in there).

I REALLY want him out as I want to go to the cinema to see the Braveheart sequel "The King of Scotland". I don't know HOW Braveheart will come back from the dead. Maybe by 'celtic magic', like in Harry Potter, or possibly through 'science magic' like in Ee-Ar.

Mel Gibson is GREAT 'popcorn'. This is Belmot cinema-shorthand for a film which, although entertaining enough to eat through, NEVER stimulates the brain, the music is amateurish and the characterisation abysmal. Casting is often pedestrian and the story resolution predicatable hours in advance.
On a scale of zero to Big Trouble in Little China, it would rate an Overboard:

Ha ha! Kurt Russell is a hoot! I LOVE this film!

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