Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The lobby MUST be PLUSH


I'm thinking of using the above as a new and bespoke way of saying hello to all YOU blog readers from now and for the future. What do you think? I used it on the woman in the Post Office (not impressed), the postman (anxious) and a check-out boy in Budgens (confused).

As you can see, the reaction has so far been poor but maybe I polled too many postal workers? I'll keep it up for a few months and let you know what the reaction is.

I made a fish casserole at the weekend but no-one wanted it. Herman said it was too brackish. He's clearly in a mood since I stopped giving him Milork. It's just as well though: he hadn't passed a solid stool the WHOLE TIME he was drinking it. Also, the rough skin (or hide) on his flanks and butt*cks has begun to clear up. If Nesquik want the recipe, they can keep it!

I was staring at the computer keyboard earlier and invented the FlyPod. It's a big white aeroplane (normal so far!) but you can plug headphones into it and listen to your music as well.

Then I thought: "It's not portable"
Then I thought "By DEFINITION it is!"
Then I thought: "Good"

I'm glad that's cleared up. Although the weather doesn't agree with my body (cold and damp) it DOES seem to agree with my BRAIN as I've been thinking of a million things, often at the same time, and all of them are new.

For example, I thought of a new film called 'Small Trouble in Big China'. Kurt Russell would play an obnoxious, fat American tourist who tries to check in at a hotel in China. Goldie Hawn plays a vapid, blonde Chinese receptionist and has lost his booking. Inevitably, there's a big argument in the hotel lobby. I can REALLY picture this scene. There would be porters and other guests in the background and the carpet would be PLUSH!

That's all I've got at the moment. If it was on tv, they should show adverts for Chinese restaurants and holiday hotels, to capitalise on viewers being 'in the mood' for China.

As mentioned above, I think the key to a good hotel romance comedy thriller (Hote-rom), is to establish a very plush lobby.

Music should be mainly Chinese until the big chase scene when it should be 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart' by Elton and Keekkee Dee. Also, if Kurt has to lose weight in the hotel gym, they should use 'Albatross' by Fleetwood Mac.

Anyway, blog-a-pog-a-gog (the new goodbye).

That sounded Welsh. Ha ha ha!


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