Nearly there!

Ding dong
ding dong
ding dong
CHRISTMAS!

Brilliant! It's not long now. Here's a picture of a reindeer for eye sweets:

Recently I saw an advert for the film "The Santa Clause 3" which had the great tag line the fright before Christmas. This is a clever play on words similar to the Nightmare before Christmas. What else would work? Here's some ideas:

• The Height before Christmas (growth spurt for an adolescent pre-Xmas)
• The Bite before Christmas (shark or feral dog giving people nasty nips in the run-up to the festive season)
• The Kite before Christmas (foreign 'arty' film which looks nice but is RUBBISH)

If anyone reading this wants to develop these ideas further, you can have them. Just credit me BIG in the titles.

Normally at this time of year, my husband comes in from his shed and puts a blanket over his ham radio equipment. Both of us find this hard going for different reasons. However, Herman has spent Nectar Points on a blow heater from Argos and I've barely seen him all month! He only comes in for food and then takes his plate out to the shed! I dread to think of the washing up potential.

I don't think he even slept inside the house last night. No complaints from me - ha ha! He snores like a pig in a FENCE and the cold weather aggravates his sinus condition.

Here's an idea: a stocking/tree connected to the internet via inline so whatever you buy comes straight through your phoneline. No need for the Royal Mail (rubbish on a good day - ha ha!). And you order it gift wrapped too.

After last year's disaster with Pat's eldest's present, I've bought him a 10-piece gift pack of talcum powder. The RoI is that this will not go off and rot (happened last year). I think he wants a white t-shirt and jeans combination like Simon Cowell but talc will keep giving, long after Cowell has had his day.