Thursday, November 02, 2006

Burnt by Espionage

Hello blogwatchers!

After the runaway success of Milork, I decided to go straight to the organ grinder's mouth and emailed Nesquik with details. I did NOT disclose the recipe as I've been burnt by industrial espionage before. Mainly in Dorking but sometimes further afield.


I am a professional freelance marketing consultant and believe that I've developed a new product which you may be interested in.

Following the rise of health awareness and the success of brands such as Innocent who provide your recommended daily intake of fruit and vegetables in one drink, I have developed a similar product currently under the working name of 'Milork' (pronounced MILL-ork).

Nutritionally devised to provide the drinker with their RDA of calcium, protein and meat, Milork is a drink which combines the calcium-enriched goodness of milk with the lean meat protein aspects of fresh pork.

I have begun to market it as a cool refreshment AND as a warm, bedtime drink for adults and children alike. It provides a turnkey solution to hitting daily food targets.

If you would be interested in discussing further, please contact me at the above address.
Best regards,
Janet Belmot (Mrs)"

I sent this well over a week ago and have NOT yet had a reply. I'm assuming one of two outcomes:
1) They are currently developing their own brand of Milork (worst case scenario)
2) They are looking into the science behind my claim before making me a juicy offer (best case scenario)

Herman has had the runs for nearly a full week now, but he's insisted on Milork as a breakfast AND bedtime drink every day since the first batch was made!

I'm worried about a patch of hard skin that has formed across his back and butt*ck% but he thinks it will be needed when the weather gets colder.

I'll post a picture when the camera turns up.


Adam said...

How very rude of them!

Oh! Does it include Omega 3 oils?

I heard they've started handing out fish oil capsules at Prime Minister's Questions.

Mrs Belmot said...

Ha ha! As long as someone starts handing out some Prime Minister's ANSWERS we'll be alright!

I think the best source of Omega 3 is fish, so maybe an 'off-shoot' like Miladdock (milk + haddock) or Oranjuna (orange juice + tuna) would be the best drink.

They would DEFINITELY be holiday drinks though, like a pina colada or a malibu and lemonade.

Ashley said...

Amazing offers on cheap ferry crossings..