Well the results are in! My husband, Herman, had a TERRIBLE night's sleep. In fact he spent most of it on the toilet with 'the runs'. I call that voting with your feet!
In retrospect, I would NOT have used UHT milk to make Milork as it tastes a LOT worse than any other kind of milk.
That said, Herman thoroughly enjoyed his bedtime Milork and drank another pint of it for breakfast (I made a bumper batch). He keeps smacking his lips and saying he can't stop thinking about the taste. I guess that's dinner taken care of!
In case YOU want to make Milork too, my recipe is:
1 pint of milk (don't use UHT - it tastes like someone milked a poison cow)
1 large pork chop or two sausages (or c. 200g of your preffered pig meat)
Put half of the milk in a blender and add the pig meat.
Blend until creamy.
Fold in the remaining milk.
Decant into a saucepan.
Bring to the boil, then simmer for 45mins with the lid ON to cook the pork.
Serve warm or chilled, to taste. I GUARANTEE you will be surprised by the colour.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Milork
Hi viewers!
I've recently had a lot of queries from people all trying to find root beer in the shops but failing. I don't know WHY they think I've got some. Maybe it was all the talk of vending machines.
Anyway and MORE importantly, there's definitely a gap in the market for root beer and not just one gap. There are so many root vegetables that the range of beers on offer is potentially BIG.
I predict that carrot, parsnip and sweet-potato beers would be guaranteed best sellers.
The concept also suggests a range of herb pop, such as Tarragonade, Parsleyade and Sage-a Cola. Cumin milkshakes would NOT work. Basically a poison.
However, I think the biggest breakthrough could be in the area of potable meat drinks. For example, if you liquified a pork chop (using a Magimix) then you could DEFINITELY combine this with milk and sell the product as a 'turnkey' solution to your daily intake of protein, calcium and pork.
I'd call it Milork.
The logical extension being that you'd pour this on your cereal or heat it up and use it as gravy OR a bedtime drink. Other products could be:
Organic Milork (made from free range pigs)
Diet Milork (uses skimmed milk)
Milork MAX! (same as above but for men - use black packaging)
Milorkenade (carbonated)
My husband has said it sounds like a delicious idea so I'm going to make him some diet Milork tonight and I'll let you know the results. Fingers crossed! He says he wants it warm.
Let me know if YOU want some Milork and I'll post the recipe or even post some REAL Milork!
I've recently had a lot of queries from people all trying to find root beer in the shops but failing. I don't know WHY they think I've got some. Maybe it was all the talk of vending machines.
Anyway and MORE importantly, there's definitely a gap in the market for root beer and not just one gap. There are so many root vegetables that the range of beers on offer is potentially BIG.
I predict that carrot, parsnip and sweet-potato beers would be guaranteed best sellers.
The concept also suggests a range of herb pop, such as Tarragonade, Parsleyade and Sage-a Cola. Cumin milkshakes would NOT work. Basically a poison.
However, I think the biggest breakthrough could be in the area of potable meat drinks. For example, if you liquified a pork chop (using a Magimix) then you could DEFINITELY combine this with milk and sell the product as a 'turnkey' solution to your daily intake of protein, calcium and pork.
I'd call it Milork.
The logical extension being that you'd pour this on your cereal or heat it up and use it as gravy OR a bedtime drink. Other products could be:
Organic Milork (made from free range pigs)
Diet Milork (uses skimmed milk)
Milork MAX! (same as above but for men - use black packaging)
Milorkenade (carbonated)
My husband has said it sounds like a delicious idea so I'm going to make him some diet Milork tonight and I'll let you know the results. Fingers crossed! He says he wants it warm.
Let me know if YOU want some Milork and I'll post the recipe or even post some REAL Milork!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Paint; dog; toilet seat; apology; code; McKellern
Apparently there's a new paint advert on television now. I REALLY hope it's a Dulux one as I love that fluffy dog! My husband won't let me have one as he's worried it might outlive us or p** on the lawn. He's refused to clear p** up even though we DON'T have a dog at the moment.
On the subject of paint, has anyone else painted a room totally in gloss and regretted it later? (It makes it easier to wipe down, if you were wondering about pros and cons).
I think the woman who hoovers us has also loosened the toilet seat (unintentionally or otherwise). I KNOW she uses our facilities when I'm out of the house and now the seat has a lot more lateral give in it than ever before. It's very disconcerting. If you lean to one side (as you do!) the seat jerks under you as if it's being pulled by an unseen and cruel hand.
There is NO string or rope connected, in case you thought you had solved the mystery. The seat is loose and that's all there is to it.
I'll definitely take a photo of this and post it as soon as I can (ASAIC). I'd really like opinions on this though.
A lot of this blog seems to have been about unsanitary things, so I apologise. It 100% wasn't meant to turn out like this. The devil is in the planning, as they say!
I've also noticed another connection:
I mention a dog here AND in previous posts.
Andrex use a dog to advertise t*ilet paper.
I've also mentioned my t*ilet.
Is there a connection there? It's like the Da Belmot Code by Dan Brown! The book was ROTTEN and I haven't seen the film but can't wait!
Ian McKellern is the same in everything he does - and that "same" is watchable! Ha ha!
On the subject of paint, has anyone else painted a room totally in gloss and regretted it later? (It makes it easier to wipe down, if you were wondering about pros and cons).
I think the woman who hoovers us has also loosened the toilet seat (unintentionally or otherwise). I KNOW she uses our facilities when I'm out of the house and now the seat has a lot more lateral give in it than ever before. It's very disconcerting. If you lean to one side (as you do!) the seat jerks under you as if it's being pulled by an unseen and cruel hand.
There is NO string or rope connected, in case you thought you had solved the mystery. The seat is loose and that's all there is to it.
I'll definitely take a photo of this and post it as soon as I can (ASAIC). I'd really like opinions on this though.
A lot of this blog seems to have been about unsanitary things, so I apologise. It 100% wasn't meant to turn out like this. The devil is in the planning, as they say!
I've also noticed another connection:
I mention a dog here AND in previous posts.
Andrex use a dog to advertise t*ilet paper.
I've also mentioned my t*ilet.
Is there a connection there? It's like the Da Belmot Code by Dan Brown! The book was ROTTEN and I haven't seen the film but can't wait!
Ian McKellern is the same in everything he does - and that "same" is watchable! Ha ha!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
The dog (not the best)
I forgot to post this earlier! Here's a picture of my dog Sheppo before he died.
It's not the best photo I've got of him by a LONG way.
Is it too much pork?
I've been absolutely snowed under with requests from people asking specifically if my future in-house vending machines will defnitely supply voting cards and fresh produce. Most people also wanted to know if anything else would be on offer like DVDs, petrol and clothing. The answer is I don't know because I haven't built any (contrary to VERY popular belief) and I won't be in charge of them when they are built.
However, you can email the Prime Minister here or, if you're banking on Prince William being in charge of this area, then you can write to him at Clarence House, London SW1A 1BA.
Apparently Starlight Express is coming back. What a waste of time! No-one buys roller skates anymore so they DEFINITELY will NOT pay to see people rollerskating in the west end. I'd have thought a musical where everyone was blogging/texting/branding would be more interesting to most people 'in the know'. As it is, it's rubbish. Don't waste your money.
That said, I LOVED the first show and saw it about five times.
I feel guilty for two reasons:
1) I said I would document everything that I was eating and I haven't.
2) Today I had sausages for breakfast; ham sandwiches for lunch and I've got a pork joint for dinner. That's TOO MUCH pig for one person in a day, I'm sure.
I'm not a dietician so DON'T take this as professional advice though - it could be advisable to eat this amount of pork (and more) in one day. I'll probably have bacon tomorrow and turn into a pig! Ha ha!
However, you can email the Prime Minister here or, if you're banking on Prince William being in charge of this area, then you can write to him at Clarence House, London SW1A 1BA.
Apparently Starlight Express is coming back. What a waste of time! No-one buys roller skates anymore so they DEFINITELY will NOT pay to see people rollerskating in the west end. I'd have thought a musical where everyone was blogging/texting/branding would be more interesting to most people 'in the know'. As it is, it's rubbish. Don't waste your money.
That said, I LOVED the first show and saw it about five times.
I feel guilty for two reasons:
1) I said I would document everything that I was eating and I haven't.
2) Today I had sausages for breakfast; ham sandwiches for lunch and I've got a pork joint for dinner. That's TOO MUCH pig for one person in a day, I'm sure.
I'm not a dietician so DON'T take this as professional advice though - it could be advisable to eat this amount of pork (and more) in one day. I'll probably have bacon tomorrow and turn into a pig! Ha ha!
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Ham against my will
My husband saw me "blogging" (is that a real word now?) and asked me to put some amateur radio ham post in his blog so his friends can see that he's on the internet.
This is rubbish and it's not even Herman's receiver! I would NOT bother looking at this. It doesn't work because it's not him either, so what a waste of time!
In answer to one of MANY questions about what I think the future of British Government will be, the answer of what I think is:
1) Tony Blair will stay as leader of the country until 2010.
With the backing of both his party AND the other parties, he'd be a fool not to. However, I think he will start charging everyone £1 (or whatever we're using in the future!) for people to vote. Maybe you could buy a voting card from a vending machine for £1? By 2010, we may well all have vending machines in our houses, which would save the need to go to the shops.
2) After 2010, Prince William (probably King by then) will assume the leadership.
This is self explanatory but I think we need to be careful. Where does he stand on local council issues (one-way systems; Christmas lights etc)? I'm also now concerned about fresh produce going rotten in my vending machine if I don't buy it for a while. Maybe it will be the new King's job to get the council to do something about this? I hope so: no-one wants a lot of rotting food in their house (or their vending machine).
I had a good think about this but, if you see any flaws in the argument, let me know YOUR comments!
DON'T mention the radio hams. I think they've had enough 'air time' already. Ha ha ha!
This is rubbish and it's not even Herman's receiver! I would NOT bother looking at this. It doesn't work because it's not him either, so what a waste of time!
In answer to one of MANY questions about what I think the future of British Government will be, the answer of what I think is:
1) Tony Blair will stay as leader of the country until 2010.
With the backing of both his party AND the other parties, he'd be a fool not to. However, I think he will start charging everyone £1 (or whatever we're using in the future!) for people to vote. Maybe you could buy a voting card from a vending machine for £1? By 2010, we may well all have vending machines in our houses, which would save the need to go to the shops.
2) After 2010, Prince William (probably King by then) will assume the leadership.
This is self explanatory but I think we need to be careful. Where does he stand on local council issues (one-way systems; Christmas lights etc)? I'm also now concerned about fresh produce going rotten in my vending machine if I don't buy it for a while. Maybe it will be the new King's job to get the council to do something about this? I hope so: no-one wants a lot of rotting food in their house (or their vending machine).
I had a good think about this but, if you see any flaws in the argument, let me know YOUR comments!
DON'T mention the radio hams. I think they've had enough 'air time' already. Ha ha ha!
Fat and Back
Great news! Something I advised on a few weeks ago has come true!
Over the internet, I advised ITV (or Channel 3 as SOMEONE in our house still calls it) to bring back Cracker if they wanted to keep it's diminshing audience. Well, on Sunday, no-one was more surprised than me to see Cracker is back and just as fat as ever! He's still got it!
I didn't watch the programme as I don't much care for it but I'm glad that ITV can put their troubled past behind them now.
The weather is drizzling today and I had brown toast for breakfast and soup and roll for lunch. (This is a new feature where I chronicle the weather and my dietary intake EVERY day - let me know if you like it!)
Over the internet, I advised ITV (or Channel 3 as SOMEONE in our house still calls it) to bring back Cracker if they wanted to keep it's diminshing audience. Well, on Sunday, no-one was more surprised than me to see Cracker is back and just as fat as ever! He's still got it!
I didn't watch the programme as I don't much care for it but I'm glad that ITV can put their troubled past behind them now.
The weather is drizzling today and I had brown toast for breakfast and soup and roll for lunch. (This is a new feature where I chronicle the weather and my dietary intake EVERY day - let me know if you like it!)
Monday, October 02, 2006
The Future of The World (according to Janet)
A lot of people have been asking me to make predictions about what I think is going to happen, because VERY often the advice I give comes completely true.
I've been thinking HARD about this and I think the following will definitely happen (or something so similar you won't be able to tell the difference):
1) I think that something like the internet but better will happen.
If you think about it (like I have), no one had heard of the internet ten years ago but now you can buy it in Woolworths and even online. So almost definitely something better will come along (in the same way that everyone was listening to Neil Diamond until Graceland came along). Take note and buy shares now!
You'll probably be able to buy it online at first, but then you'll just be able to get it through whatever it is.
2) I think there will be a sequel to Watership Down.
The first film was excellent, as well as being sad and about rabbits and a seagull. However, the animation and voices were poor. Rubbish, really. So what we'll see is a shift towards computer made films like Toys, Cars, Ants and Finding Fish. This will almost definitely result in the film being called Rabbits and being in 3D. In fact it might be in REAL 3D coming out of the screen at you! That would be marvellous! Especially if you could touch them!
I DON'T know what the story will be about, so DON'T ask me. If I had to hazard a guess, it would involve a food shortage and maybe the warren getting dry after a hot summer. Again, DO NOT quote me on this part of the prediction.
3) If David Jason has a son (not daughter), I think he will become an actor.
Self explanatory.
4) Mobile phones will become more like printers.
People want a one-stop-shop, so their phone will be capable of handling A4 paper for DEFINITE. The big improvement will be them also getting smaller and cheaper. You will also be able to sell advertising space on your headers and footers which NO-ONE ever uses. I've already looked into this possibility but no luck yet.
I think that's about all that I can guarantee ACTUALLY happening. Food for thought indeed! If you have any queries about some of the insights, let me know YOUR comments!
David: no
Kaftan photo: no
JK Rowling: still no
D&G: hopeful
I've been thinking HARD about this and I think the following will definitely happen (or something so similar you won't be able to tell the difference):
1) I think that something like the internet but better will happen.
If you think about it (like I have), no one had heard of the internet ten years ago but now you can buy it in Woolworths and even online. So almost definitely something better will come along (in the same way that everyone was listening to Neil Diamond until Graceland came along). Take note and buy shares now!
You'll probably be able to buy it online at first, but then you'll just be able to get it through whatever it is.
2) I think there will be a sequel to Watership Down.
The first film was excellent, as well as being sad and about rabbits and a seagull. However, the animation and voices were poor. Rubbish, really. So what we'll see is a shift towards computer made films like Toys, Cars, Ants and Finding Fish. This will almost definitely result in the film being called Rabbits and being in 3D. In fact it might be in REAL 3D coming out of the screen at you! That would be marvellous! Especially if you could touch them!
I DON'T know what the story will be about, so DON'T ask me. If I had to hazard a guess, it would involve a food shortage and maybe the warren getting dry after a hot summer. Again, DO NOT quote me on this part of the prediction.
3) If David Jason has a son (not daughter), I think he will become an actor.
Self explanatory.
4) Mobile phones will become more like printers.
People want a one-stop-shop, so their phone will be capable of handling A4 paper for DEFINITE. The big improvement will be them also getting smaller and cheaper. You will also be able to sell advertising space on your headers and footers which NO-ONE ever uses. I've already looked into this possibility but no luck yet.
I think that's about all that I can guarantee ACTUALLY happening. Food for thought indeed! If you have any queries about some of the insights, let me know YOUR comments!
David: no
Kaftan photo: no
JK Rowling: still no
D&G: hopeful
Friday, September 29, 2006
The Four Cs
Sorry David, I haven't found out how to change entries on my blog so the comments will have to stand for the time being!
Most of you will be aware of the recent uproar about the Christmas lights for Dorking:
"Angry councillors voiced their concern this week at the use of more than £10,000 to fund the Christmas lights display in Dorking."
But have you realised that the REAL question here is how much money should any council be spending on Christmas lights, and when does it become TOO much? (This is called a 'tipping point').
My husband thinks that some lights are good, but too many are bad: a fat lot of help THAT kind of unsupported advice is! Where's the market research?!
The main thing is that the lights are snowproof, in case it snows on them. I hope the council has also budgeted for spare bulbs (mostly red), ladders and drawing pins. How much tinsel would you get for £10,000? I don't know so DON'T ask me.
All this talk of Christmas makes we want to eat Turkey. Yum!
Hang on. When's Halloween? Did I miss it?
Anyway, I hope that solves the council's Christmas coruscation conundrum (or CCCC as I've started calling when we have people round for dinner. It hasn't caught on yet but there's just under three months left so get the word out there, gang!).
Herman want's a breaded pie for dinner but I don't think you can you add breadcrumbs onto pastry. I think he saw Ainsely make one but I don't trust HIS taste at all.
Most of you will be aware of the recent uproar about the Christmas lights for Dorking:
"Angry councillors voiced their concern this week at the use of more than £10,000 to fund the Christmas lights display in Dorking."
But have you realised that the REAL question here is how much money should any council be spending on Christmas lights, and when does it become TOO much? (This is called a 'tipping point').
My husband thinks that some lights are good, but too many are bad: a fat lot of help THAT kind of unsupported advice is! Where's the market research?!
The main thing is that the lights are snowproof, in case it snows on them. I hope the council has also budgeted for spare bulbs (mostly red), ladders and drawing pins. How much tinsel would you get for £10,000? I don't know so DON'T ask me.
All this talk of Christmas makes we want to eat Turkey. Yum!
Hang on. When's Halloween? Did I miss it?
Anyway, I hope that solves the council's Christmas coruscation conundrum (or CCCC as I've started calling when we have people round for dinner. It hasn't caught on yet but there's just under three months left so get the word out there, gang!).
Herman want's a breaded pie for dinner but I don't think you can you add breadcrumbs onto pastry. I think he saw Ainsely make one but I don't trust HIS taste at all.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Tunic colour and a Son of the Earth
I had an email yesterday from a farmer in Somerset asking for advice on raising brand awareness and penetrating an oversubscribed market. (Hint: this is EXACTLY what I'm here for). I haven't written out the email because it was full of spelling mistakes, bad grammer and makes him sound pretty stupid! Sorry, David, but it does!
So far, my advice to David (or Farmer X as he might want to be known now!) is to start with a strong outdoor poster campaign (maybe in central London at first) for instant impact, roll out banner ads on hot websites and then launch interactive bluetooth bus-stop ads in the pre-Christmas rush.
If anyone else has advice on selling on small quantities of surplus maize and barley, then post a comment below! Delivery can be within a 10-mile radius of Upper Cheddon but not in a town centre or up the motorway due to restrictions on where tractors can go. (Hint: buy a car, slowcoach!)
Sadly still no sign of the photo of me in a kaftan or the camera, or any of the other stuff I would need to recreate the photo and post it here. I'm going to try and post a picture anyway because I've never done it before. Here goes!
So far, my advice to David (or Farmer X as he might want to be known now!) is to start with a strong outdoor poster campaign (maybe in central London at first) for instant impact, roll out banner ads on hot websites and then launch interactive bluetooth bus-stop ads in the pre-Christmas rush.
If anyone else has advice on selling on small quantities of surplus maize and barley, then post a comment below! Delivery can be within a 10-mile radius of Upper Cheddon but not in a town centre or up the motorway due to restrictions on where tractors can go. (Hint: buy a car, slowcoach!)
Sadly still no sign of the photo of me in a kaftan or the camera, or any of the other stuff I would need to recreate the photo and post it here. I'm going to try and post a picture anyway because I've never done it before. Here goes!
Brilliant! This is a picture of Robbert Coltrane as Hagrid! Not, I repeat, not a picture of me in a kaftan (although his tunic is much the same colour, in case you are trying to picture the kaftan).
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
D&G money?
If you've had an email from me in the last few weeks, you'll have noticed that I've been endorsing Dolci & Gabbama but so far no-one has been able to tell me if I get any money off this.
I thought I might as well go to the organ-grinder's mouth and emailed some company which deal with their stuff to see if I could get some loot! But I didn't use that phrase.
"Hello there,
I understand that you look after marketing/PR/advertising for Dolci & Gabbama and was wondering if you could answer a query for me?
I've recently mentioned D&G in some emails and posts on internet forums. If I end all my emails or posts with the phrase "I endorse Dolci & Gabbama", could I get some money for this? It's a great brand opportunity as word-of-mouth is one of the most trusted sources of recommendation. What do YOU think?
All the best!Janet
-I endorse Dolci & Gabbama-"
I thought I might as well go to the organ-grinder's mouth and emailed some company which deal with their stuff to see if I could get some loot! But I didn't use that phrase.
"Hello there,
I understand that you look after marketing/PR/advertising for Dolci & Gabbama and was wondering if you could answer a query for me?
I've recently mentioned D&G in some emails and posts on internet forums. If I end all my emails or posts with the phrase "I endorse Dolci & Gabbama", could I get some money for this? It's a great brand opportunity as word-of-mouth is one of the most trusted sources of recommendation. What do YOU think?
All the best!Janet
-I endorse Dolci & Gabbama-"
Monday, September 25, 2006
Christmas and MY photoshoot!
It was all go over the weekend. Do you KNOW how close we are to Christmas?? Very!
Thirteen weeks in fact. That's less than a hundred days (which actually sounds like a VERY long time now I see it in print). I must get something good for Pat's eldest this year - it was an impulse buy last year and he clearly didn't like it. The thing is, if you know they'll use it over the course of a year, then buying in bulk is DEFINITELY worth it. I didn't think of the storage aspect though and most of it went off within weeks.
A bad situation and apparently it smelled awful when it began to rot.
Anyway, it was all go this weekend. I cooked chicken in water for my husband which he HATED, so I drained off the water but he refused point blank to get it out of the sink. I ended up doing TWO meals in the end and a lemon meringue pie (not real lemons - you don't know the difference).
Did you know meringue is eggs? Not many people do. You can link to this if you didn't.
Still no sign of my photo, the kaftan or my camera. The sideboard is still where it should be and so is the dog (I hope! I'm not going to dig up the garden to check!) so it's not all doom and gloom though.
If I can find a different picture which I like the look of, I might post that. Or if I find a new kaftan. I think I got it from Jaeger, or it could have been Sue Ryder.
After all my endorsing of Dolci & Gabamma, I might see if they could give me a new kaftan, or even just lend me one for a photoshoot. How glamorous would that be!
Can you imagine ME doing a photoshoot? Just imagine!
They'd also need to lend me a camera too, which isn't really their main business but could be a nice moneyspinner! I wouldn't want to pay for it though. If you work for D&G and are reading this and have a kaftan AND have a camera, then let me know.
Thirteen weeks in fact. That's less than a hundred days (which actually sounds like a VERY long time now I see it in print). I must get something good for Pat's eldest this year - it was an impulse buy last year and he clearly didn't like it. The thing is, if you know they'll use it over the course of a year, then buying in bulk is DEFINITELY worth it. I didn't think of the storage aspect though and most of it went off within weeks.
A bad situation and apparently it smelled awful when it began to rot.
Anyway, it was all go this weekend. I cooked chicken in water for my husband which he HATED, so I drained off the water but he refused point blank to get it out of the sink. I ended up doing TWO meals in the end and a lemon meringue pie (not real lemons - you don't know the difference).
Did you know meringue is eggs? Not many people do. You can link to this if you didn't.
Still no sign of my photo, the kaftan or my camera. The sideboard is still where it should be and so is the dog (I hope! I'm not going to dig up the garden to check!) so it's not all doom and gloom though.
If I can find a different picture which I like the look of, I might post that. Or if I find a new kaftan. I think I got it from Jaeger, or it could have been Sue Ryder.
After all my endorsing of Dolci & Gabamma, I might see if they could give me a new kaftan, or even just lend me one for a photoshoot. How glamorous would that be!
Can you imagine ME doing a photoshoot? Just imagine!
They'd also need to lend me a camera too, which isn't really their main business but could be a nice moneyspinner! I wouldn't want to pay for it though. If you work for D&G and are reading this and have a kaftan AND have a camera, then let me know.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
What's the best thing?
I was trying to think of the best thing in the world that I couldn't live without and it's quite hard.
First of all, I thought of a skirt or trousers but then I realised it would have to be clothes! You DEFINITELY need clothes. But then I thought it's no good wearing clothes but being dead.
So I suppose the real question here is: clothes or food? I'm not sure I'd want to be fed but naked.
I asked the woman who hoovers us but she made a glib comment (not an internet blog comment though!) about clothes you can eat but it sounded revolting.
Could you wear food? Either way, I'd want to be warm so maybe central heating is the best option after all.
If you had a radiator key you could drink the fluid too or even make tea out of it. Ha ha! IN FACT, if you put teabags in your boiler you'd have a piping hot house heated by lots of ready-made PG Tips!
First of all, I thought of a skirt or trousers but then I realised it would have to be clothes! You DEFINITELY need clothes. But then I thought it's no good wearing clothes but being dead.
So I suppose the real question here is: clothes or food? I'm not sure I'd want to be fed but naked.
I asked the woman who hoovers us but she made a glib comment (not an internet blog comment though!) about clothes you can eat but it sounded revolting.
Could you wear food? Either way, I'd want to be warm so maybe central heating is the best option after all.
If you had a radiator key you could drink the fluid too or even make tea out of it. Ha ha! IN FACT, if you put teabags in your boiler you'd have a piping hot house heated by lots of ready-made PG Tips!
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
No reply
Still no reply from either JK Rowling OR her publisher.
Very strange.
Has anyone else had no reply when they've advised someone on something useful? Let me know YOUR comments!
On a separate note, I had an argument with my husband about a film called a Wicker Man. I said it would expand in the rain but he said it just wouldn't work full stop. I haven't seen the film so I don't know what he means and the argument was too heated for me to go back and ask him about it.
Does anyone know what he's talking about? And is it a wicker man like Superman (ie a man made of super) or is it like Rainman (not a man made of rain), or is it more like the Runningman (a who likes to run)?
I just noticed that the subject doesn't really fit with this. If no-one replies to this post, I think I'll be ok though, so please don't comment!
Does anyone test the internet for this kind of "white lie"? Let me know what YOU think!
Very strange.
Has anyone else had no reply when they've advised someone on something useful? Let me know YOUR comments!
On a separate note, I had an argument with my husband about a film called a Wicker Man. I said it would expand in the rain but he said it just wouldn't work full stop. I haven't seen the film so I don't know what he means and the argument was too heated for me to go back and ask him about it.
Does anyone know what he's talking about? And is it a wicker man like Superman (ie a man made of super) or is it like Rainman (not a man made of rain), or is it more like the Runningman (a who likes to run)?
I just noticed that the subject doesn't really fit with this. If no-one replies to this post, I think I'll be ok though, so please don't comment!
Does anyone test the internet for this kind of "white lie"? Let me know what YOU think!
Friday, September 15, 2006
What I look like in a photo
I've been trying to upload a photo of me for this profile thing. I've got a really nice photo from about 12 years ago where I'm wearing a kaftan.
I know - a kaftan! Can you picture me in a kaftan?
Anyway, I REALLY want to use that photo but I can't find it. It might have gone into the garage or be in a drawer somewhere so I'll have to look.
If I can't find it, I'll probably just take a NEW photo of me wearing the same kaftan. I'm not sure where that kaftan has got to, now I come to think of it, so I'd have to dig that out too.
It might be in the airing cupboard but I think I also saw it on the floor in the back of the car - Herman put it down to cover the seats when he took the dog to the kennels.
The dog's dead now, but if I can't find the photo of me in a kaftan OR the kaftan itself, I might put up a photo of the dog. We've definitely got a picture of that in the sideboard or even ON the sideboard.
If all else fails, I know where the sideboard is so I can definitely take a photo of that - which would be a start!! I think the camera is either in the upstairs bathroom or the downstairs loo.
Which reminds me, I need to buy more toilet paper if people are coming for dinner on Saturday.
What do YOU think? Let me know your comments!
I know - a kaftan! Can you picture me in a kaftan?
Anyway, I REALLY want to use that photo but I can't find it. It might have gone into the garage or be in a drawer somewhere so I'll have to look.
If I can't find it, I'll probably just take a NEW photo of me wearing the same kaftan. I'm not sure where that kaftan has got to, now I come to think of it, so I'd have to dig that out too.
It might be in the airing cupboard but I think I also saw it on the floor in the back of the car - Herman put it down to cover the seats when he took the dog to the kennels.
The dog's dead now, but if I can't find the photo of me in a kaftan OR the kaftan itself, I might put up a photo of the dog. We've definitely got a picture of that in the sideboard or even ON the sideboard.
If all else fails, I know where the sideboard is so I can definitely take a photo of that - which would be a start!! I think the camera is either in the upstairs bathroom or the downstairs loo.
Which reminds me, I need to buy more toilet paper if people are coming for dinner on Saturday.
What do YOU think? Let me know your comments!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Helping out with Harry Potter
Hi gang!
If you know me then you'll know that I'm a BIG FAN of Harry Potter but I think the movies are full of flaws and holes. Rubbish. I've read all five books and can't wait for the last one. Herman read in the paper the other day (about a month or two ago I think) that JK Rowling doesn't reckon she'll finish the last book until next year. What a wait!
I thought Joanne (I wonder if she'll read this?!!) might appreciate some help from someone who probably knows the books better than herself, so I wrote to her publisher with ten of Janet's best. I'll keep you posted about what she has to say about this. Wouldn't it be brilliant if my suggestions turned up in print! I wouldn't want money for this though, as I am DEFINITELY a fan (albeit a professional one).
"Hello there!
I went to JK Rowling's website and she told me to send this to you.
I hear that JK is struggling to finish the last (or is it?!) Harry Potter book so thought she might value some suggestions from someone with a lot of experience of this sort of thing. I've written out ten of my best suggestions, so I'd be grateful if you could pass them on as soon as possible.
1) Harry should live and become a benevolent god-figure with his Christ-like powers.
2) Hermione should die by falling off a high bit of castle.
3) Ron should live. By accident he could be turned into a girl (maybe in chapter four?) which would resolve the Harry-Hermione-Ron love triangle. See point 2 above.
4) During a magic fight, Hagid could stand in a bucket and catch a spell in the face! Ha ha!
5) Dumbledore should come back to life using magic but then die again later. This would have a lot of emotion unless it was done in a comedy way, but that would be up to you.
6) Voldemort could get killed by a baby - a tragic reversal of how HE killed Harry! This should be saved til the end so no-one sees it coming.
7) Ginny should die, maybe from 'magic' cigarettes. This would send a strong message to children everywhere.
8) It could be Harry and Ginny's baby that kills Voldemort! Yes!
9) If you mention REAL brands like Coke, Sainsburys or endorse celebrity chef books, you could probably get some money for this.
I hope you find this advice great! It's all free - I just want the book QUICK!
All the best from,
Janet!"
If you know me then you'll know that I'm a BIG FAN of Harry Potter but I think the movies are full of flaws and holes. Rubbish. I've read all five books and can't wait for the last one. Herman read in the paper the other day (about a month or two ago I think) that JK Rowling doesn't reckon she'll finish the last book until next year. What a wait!
I thought Joanne (I wonder if she'll read this?!!) might appreciate some help from someone who probably knows the books better than herself, so I wrote to her publisher with ten of Janet's best. I'll keep you posted about what she has to say about this. Wouldn't it be brilliant if my suggestions turned up in print! I wouldn't want money for this though, as I am DEFINITELY a fan (albeit a professional one).
"Hello there!
I went to JK Rowling's website and she told me to send this to you.
I hear that JK is struggling to finish the last (or is it?!) Harry Potter book so thought she might value some suggestions from someone with a lot of experience of this sort of thing. I've written out ten of my best suggestions, so I'd be grateful if you could pass them on as soon as possible.
1) Harry should live and become a benevolent god-figure with his Christ-like powers.
2) Hermione should die by falling off a high bit of castle.
3) Ron should live. By accident he could be turned into a girl (maybe in chapter four?) which would resolve the Harry-Hermione-Ron love triangle. See point 2 above.
4) During a magic fight, Hagid could stand in a bucket and catch a spell in the face! Ha ha!
5) Dumbledore should come back to life using magic but then die again later. This would have a lot of emotion unless it was done in a comedy way, but that would be up to you.
6) Voldemort could get killed by a baby - a tragic reversal of how HE killed Harry! This should be saved til the end so no-one sees it coming.
7) Ginny should die, maybe from 'magic' cigarettes. This would send a strong message to children everywhere.
8) It could be Harry and Ginny's baby that kills Voldemort! Yes!
9) If you mention REAL brands like Coke, Sainsburys or endorse celebrity chef books, you could probably get some money for this.
I hope you find this advice great! It's all free - I just want the book QUICK!
All the best from,
Janet!"
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
The mountain, the prophet and Mrs Belmot
I hope this works! I think I've got my own "blog" because Brand Republic wouldn't give me one DESPITE asking for bloggers. So that explains why the mountain (me) had to come to the prophet ("blogs" on the internet) and why you (nothing else left in the analogy) are reading this.
Anyway, the important thing is that I'm here to help.
I'm currently endorsing Dolci & Gabbama (or D&G if you already know them), but this might change. If you work for Dolci & Gabbama, then could you let me know if I'm earning money for advertising you?
I hope you're all well and ready to hear some thoughts from me!
I am Janet btw (= by the way)
Anyway, the important thing is that I'm here to help.
I'm currently endorsing Dolci & Gabbama (or D&G if you already know them), but this might change. If you work for Dolci & Gabbama, then could you let me know if I'm earning money for advertising you?
I hope you're all well and ready to hear some thoughts from me!
I am Janet btw (= by the way)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
