Don't tell me the title of this is wrong, because it's not. I'm in the steely grip of a stinker of a cold. If you imagine you're dying of sinuses, you'll be halfway to thinking of how I feel.
It didn't help my health that Herman's self-improvement plan has meant I've spent the last few days visiting him in hospital while he recovers from getting healthy.
He's become obsessed with his appearance and for some reason is aiming for a "size zero". I blame fashion idiots like Ian McShane and Wogan. I've made him take the posters down in our bedroom but I know he still idolises them. I've looked in his wallet
Anyway, he's an idiot because he believed one of his radio ham friends who told him that Cat Deeley always drinks fake tan then sweats it out to get a great all-over tan. The theory is 100% sound but I am DEFINITELY sceptical that Deeley would have her stomach pumped and most of her blood transfused every time she wanted to look lovely and orange.
Also, Herman ended up being treated for heat exhaustion after turning the central heating on full and sitting in the kitchen with the oven door open to "get the sweats going".
The only silver lining is that the smell in the kitchen is now wonderful, just like in Cat Deeley's house, I assume.